I'm blogging from work. Thank God work's pretty quiet today. I just spoke to a really nasty client on the phone, and it took all of my energy to be polite to him, with my mood already as lousy as it is. Why, u may ask?

Why, because of something I saw at 12 noon today.

I know people say that girls think too much. But seriously, I don't see how I can "think too much" in this case.

I feel like my heart's gonna break, literally into two, with the cracking sound effect.

I don't think I'm a very jealous person. I'm extremely patient and very impartial. But I just don't see how I can be ok about this and smile like it's all perfectly normal. And I admit, I feel a slight tinge of jealousy. Do I sound insecure? Cos I don't think I am. If I were, I would be freaking out about every single girl in his photos.

I'm his girlfriend. I have acknowleged that fact since the day we became exclusive. He's said it a couple of times too, so in his mind I should have established at least some kind of priority. Ok, he has his friends. I do too. And I know it would be unfair to ask him not to hang out with his friends all the time, cos I know that if he asked that of me, I wouldn't like it either.

But that's where I draw the line. Especially GIRL friends. I'm totally fine with him having female friends. But to look so cosy together, it's just... just not fair to me. Would he like it if he saw a photo of me and a guy friend being all cosy together? I think not. I don't care how platonic the relationship is. Bottom line is, he's gotta consider my feelings as well.

I know I must sound so demanding. Do I actually? I don't know. I think I'm being extremely magnanimous. I don't know how to breach this subject with him. How do I even talk to him about this? Right now, this doesn't seem like something we should discuss online.

Sigh. Sometimes when I think about it, all the hugs and kisses and compliments just don't justify these worries and headaches of our relationship. But I'm not giving up. This is the first relationship that's progressed more in 3 weeks than any of my past relationships, and has lasted far longer than I ever expected it to (and of course, lasted longer than the last 2 "boyfriends" I had). I guess it's hard because we're away from each other. Hopefully this all irons out when I'm back. Or rather, I hope we can last the remaining 5 weeks.

1 more week of work. 2 weeks till Eurotrip (it's been shifted to 3rd September now). Can't freakin' wait. 2 whole stress-free weeks in Europe. 1 week when I return before I fly back to UK. Sigh. Wish time would speed up.