They say, when one door closes, another opens.

Things have been a whirl of colours recently. Well, there was the first Newark formal this year on Tuesday, with the afterparty at Faces. I'll put up some pics now for u guys. :)

Holly, Ellie and me.

MOI!

Me and Anna.

Me and Yessicha.

Ellie, me and Yessicha.

Ok, Blogger is fucking annoying. Argh, will upload more photos another time.

Anyways. Something's happened and I think it's big. I'm not naive enough to think that it's The One. But I'm gonna look at this positively and hope for the best. It's pretty obvious where this is heading. But don't wanna go too fast, lest it crash and burn. Slow and steady wins the race, yes?

He's a great guy, so sincere and genuine. It's so cheesy, I know, but I feel like I've known him for a long time, even though we've only met 2 days ago. He's such a sweetie too. We just hung out for several hours, just talking. The way he looks at me, wow, it just gives me goosebumps. But in a good way. :) I'm no expert, but I can tell, this guy's pretty into me. Don't ask me why. Even I don't get it.

I guess we'll just have to see where this goes. But I've a pretty good feeling. Don't get me wrong, I think it's WAAAY too fast. Plus my feelings for Him haven't entirely faded. But over time, I know they will. This guy is just so intense, and I think he really likes me alot. I like him too. And I don't wanna break his heart.

So perhaps, perhaps this is it. Perhaps everything's looking up. I guess things come at you when you least expect it.

I saw Him today when He came by to return my stuff.

U know how it is, when u break up with someone and u play in ur head all the things u wanna say to them when u finally do see them?

And when the time comes, u just become all tongue tied, and the whole speech u'd planned just flies out of your head.

That's how it was with me. I must have looked like such a moronic fuckwit, yammering on mindlessly about how drunk I'd been the past few weeks since I'd been back (Omg, can u say verbal diarrhoea?!), whilst He stood there looking all cool, and cute with his new hairstyle, and gorgeous as usual, and (Horror of horrors!) kissable.

I thought I'd got over Him. That the past few weeks I'd been healing, and really well too. But the wounds are reopened. It took all of my energy today not to kiss Him as I usually did in the past when I greeted Him. He looks good. I hate Him for that. I look like crap. It's not fair. It really isn't.

I don't suppose I'll see him again ever. It's true, you know, that your first love screws u up. There, I said it. He was my first love. It wasn't long enough for us to call it love, I suppose, but yes, I'd fallen in love with Him. U just never get over that first love.