No one said it was gonna be easy.

This is seriously hard, and I hate this. There are time when I just wanna break down and sob till my breath stops. Plenty of times when I just wanna slit my wrists in the bathroom and sit under the shower with the water running.

Ok, so maybe I've been watching too much TV.

But it's still hard. My heart can't take it anymore. I give up. I'm all alone here. It's far too depressing. I wish I was back home with everyone I love. There's nothing for me here anymore. I don't feel like I have anything to live for. How could I have possibly thought that I could live here all alone?

But maybe that's exactly what I need. To learn to have some bloody backbone. Life throws you curveballs like these all the time and running away from them isn't gonna do me any good. Maybe I need to learn how to deal with shit like this.

This heart ain't letting anyone in no more.