Ok, I think I may have posted these lyrics up before, but heck. I know love and relationships is all about give and take. But sometimes, (and I know alot of girls out there have experienced this and will wholeheartedly agree with me) I feel that I'm always the one giving. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more than to make him feel happy, because when I see him smile, it makes me smile too. But then, there are times when I get this knawing feeling that I've always pushed away, that returns with a vengeance, that he cares about me, but only when he wants and likes to.

I know guys function totally different from girls. Girls think WAY too much, whereas guys have one thought and act upon it. Plain and simple. So I'm trying to see it from that angle. Maybe he had a bad day and just wanted to relax. I don't know. It's just so confusing. Maybe it'll all get better soon.

Another song for y'all. It's called Hot, by Avril Lavigne. Not her usual angsty stuff, but this song's pretty apt for me, so there we go.

Things have been going great. May be going back to UK earlier than planned, cos of staff holiday. Fingers crossed everyone! :)

I've always loved the English language and Literature. This poem, Brown Penny, by Willaim Butler Yeats, is a true testimony of the beauty of poetry. Plus it's about love, and I heard it on Must Love Dogs, one of my favourite movies, so it comes as no surprise that I should post it up here.

I've come to a conclusion. Not everyone is a die-hard romantic (like me :P). It figures that along with the hopeless romantics (like me) come the not-so hopeless romantics (like him). Although he says he is pretty romantic, he's not overboard and he prefers to do romantic things spontaneously and occasionally, so it's more special.

So it's all good. :)

I do realise that, as with everything else in life, there can never be that perpetual, initial high. Somehow, God, or whatever entity around, is determined to test you and add in all the lows and the emotions that come along as well.

But worry not! As the saying goes, the sun will come out again. :) This is just a minor bump in our road together. Probably because we've talked too much and now can't find new topics immediately to talk about.

But aren't couples supposed to be able to talk about anything under the sun? Or is it perfectly natural to have occasional stints where you both just get a little bored of each other and wanna do your own thing? Sigh, really wish I had a relationship guru or something.

But on a brighter note, at least only 68 more days till I get back.

Seriously, if we can last these 3 months, I don't think there's anything we can't get through.

Is it wrong to feel jealous when your boyfriend seems to have a life, whereas you pretend to have one, cos you don't wanna seem too available or too desperate, or that you "live for him" (I don't actually, although sometimes it feels like I do cos I'm so bored that I just wait for him to come online just to entertain me), when actually your life is pretty damn mundane?


Another question to pose to the huge black void out there.


Sigh. Relationships are so hard. All this second-guessing and wondering, it's so tiring. Life was so much easier when I was single. Not that I'm regretting being with him, don't get me wrong. I love every minute I spend with him, I love knowing that there's someone who, well, not love as yet (I hope), but likes me alot. I love knowing that when I get back, there's someone there to make me smile and laugh, who will give me cuddles and kisses and all the perks there are in a relationship.


But being away from each other really puts the pressure on. I know I should stop being a silly and just relax, cos I'm probably thinking too much, as usual. I'm sure everyone who's heard my worries are annoyed and irritated beyond belief and wanna bonk me on the head repeatedly.


Sigh. I guess this all boils down to trust, right?


Do I trust him?
Yes, honestly, I do.


Do I trust him with my heart?
Honestly?
I'm not sure.

It's like Gwen Stefani sang in Cool.

"It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life"

Ok, so he isn't the love of my life (yet), but he could well be in the future. Unfortunately, without a crystal ball or tarot cards, I can't predict what will happen.

But the point is, Gwen's right. It is hard to remember how it felt before. I've forgotten what I used to do in my free time before. Like, what did I do during my Easter holidays, when I didn't have anyone? What did I do to keep myself sane and occupied? It seems that with the perks of relationships, the heartaches come packaged along as well. I'm not saying that I'm naive enough to believe that any relationship wouldn't have its ups and downs. I'm just saying that for every good thing that comes your way, 2 sucky things will come to wobble your path and mess things up.

Ah, I'm rambling again. Bet no one comes to this blog anyways.

Yes, yesterday's feelings are still around, although I'm looking at in from a different perspective now.

I guess the only way to put into words the way I really feel is to once again borrow the words of a song.

As a wise man once said, "Just let it happen." ;)

Well, to that I say,

At work now. I'm freakin' bored and sleepy. Sigh.

Incredibly, I've got the warm fuzzies, the butterflies, the euphoric feeling of floating with my head in the clouds.

Guess that's what being in a relationship can do to u. :)

Yet a tiny voice keeps yelling out, "Don't be a first-prized ass! This is only the honeymoon period!"

But yet I know deep down, this "honeymoon period" will last for a long time. As long as we practice patience, understanding and compromise, we'll be happy. And I believe we can. :)

Gonna have to go cold turkey for awhile. See, too much isn't good either. I'm probably annoying the hell outta him after we've been talking for 2 days straight.

Anyways, reason why I'm blogging today is to put up some lyrics. Special thanks to Ed, for providing this bit of blog fodder. :)

Super emo song, so if you're prone to moments of extreme emo-ness, deal with it, or don't listen to this song. When I first heard it, waves of different emotions flooded over. It sounds a little like something out of the 50 First Dates soundtrack. Probably isn't, but yeah.





Jason Mraz's voice is so goddamn nice. Lucky I found that video! His voice is strong enough to go acapella. Raw talent, I tell u.

Anyways, the lyrics!

Such beautiful lyrics. Sigh. Makes me feel sad though. But I guess, what I'm trying to say here is, I'm yours. :) Might be too soon, but don't care no more. Like the song says, "There's no need to complicate, our time is short." Besides, I think I'm falling. Might be too fast, might be too hard. But u only live once right? Better to have loved with all my heart, than never to have experienced that heartache.

Argh, work tomorrow. Sigh, really don't feel like going. 7 more weeks. And come end of this week, it'll be 6! Hope this week goes fast.

Anyone who ever said that relationships are easy is very wrong. And anyone who said that long-distance relationships are tolerable is extremely wrong.

Where do I stop before I cross the line? I don't wanna be one of those girlfriends who obsess constantly about her boyfriend, wondering what he's up to, who he's with or whatever. But it's hard. He isn't constantly on my mind, but when he's in my thoughts, it's difficult to push him out again.

We've only known each other, what, slightly more than 2 months. And we've only officially come out about our relationship for less than a week. Ok, we've actually become exclusive about 4 weeks, but I didn't know if he'd acknowledged that. So we'll take our exclusivity as the day we actually officially changed our relationship status.

Sigh. There are moments like these when I really hate being 11,000 miles away from him. I guess it's just not knowing where he is and what he's doing. Yes, I trust him wholeheartedly. I know, so contradictory, right? But tell me, doesn't everyone get that tiny smidgen of doubt now and then?

It's not that I don't have a life. Ok, that's not true. I don't have a life. At least here I don't. Everyday it's just routine. Wake up, go to work, come home from work, maybe talk to him online, sleep, and the cycle begins all over again.

Sigh. Only 7 weeks more of work. It ain't that bad, just extremely tedious and boring entering of data. But I'm hangin' in there! :)

Just another 76 days. This one's a little harder to muscle through. Slowly but surely though, the days will go by. :)

Guess this is gonna be one of those disgustingly depressing posts. Whoever thought that now that my relationship status has changed, I'd still post such morbid posts again! Haha! Watched Must Love Dogs earlier, starring the smouldering Dermot Mulroney, the very cute John Cusack (one of my favourite actors), and the very charming Diane Lane. If you guys have yet to watch this movie, I swear to God, watch it! I guess this movie speaks to me in a way. How it speaks to me, I can't say. :P But some of you who've heard the story and watched the movie, guess you'll understand the reason why! :D

I got this off Dawn Yang's blog. It just felt so apt that I couldn't help but put it up here too. :)

Work's fucking boring. Sigh. :(

And now, apparently I'm "officially off the market". Hehe.