I'm so goddamn tired.

CIB lab exam this Thursday and 2 more projects to go next Thursday before I can rest for about a week and then start mugging away for my exams in January. Can't bloody hell wait.

Korean Society's Christmas Party this Thursday at Skin. Oh yes! And there's the Newark Christmas formal on the 13th of December! Yay! It'll be nice to let my hair down. It's been a long time since I've had some real fun.

Some fucker sent a fucking virus which bloody infected my entire fucking wonky computer system. Damn asshole! I wasted my entire time trying to get rid of the thing. Plus, the work that I had done on the website design before I saved it was all lost, cos my fucking computer crashed and shut down on its own. So damn pissed off.

Anyways, I made a new friend at Law tutorial today. The first British girl I actually know. Her name's Abby and she's really nice and incredibly smart and motivated. Unbelievable. Her work is impeccably neat and she's always asking questions in class.

Well, photos from Yoyo's birthday party will soon be uploaded when I can find the time. Oh, and also some photos from when we were kidding around during our CIB meeting. (Which, I just have to rant about this, one of the bloody members didn't turn up for (and I bet she didn't do her share of work too!) our meeting! This girl really is the pits! She's so lazy! She doesn't do her work, she doesn't come for meetings, she even has the cheek to ask to cancel meetings to fit her bloody schedule or cos she didn't do anything. WHAT THE FUCK?! Really hate asshole group members like these. We're so gonna petition or complain about her in the evaluation after everything's done.

Ok, I must go to sleep now. My eyes are gonna fall out.

Just came back from Yoyo's birthday party! Yoyo's Japanese. He's Eline's friend, but he invited us to his party to. Pretty mild compared to the wild parties I had with Yusuke, my other Japanese friend from my old college (Remember him? He's the cute one. Haha!).

My exam timetable's out. Bleagh. Exams for the 2 middle weeks of January. After that, par-tay!

I'm kinda tipsy now, so this'll have to do for today. More tomorrow. Oh! And I promise I'll post photos as soon as I get them from Eline!

Tata for now!

p.s. Ed, I wish I was Lucas Scott, man! He's so gorgeous! Or rather Chad Michael Murray is! But still. Didn't think my thoughts were deep. Haha. Just thought I'd share my feelings with everyone. Haha. I just write what I feel. :)

I'm so tired. What a crazy, hectic week it's been.

Finally I can put the Economics coursework behind me. 2 more projects and CIB lab exam before the Christmas holidays start. Can't wait!

Sometimes group work can really be quite a pain in the ass, especially when u have to tolerate people who annoy the hell out of u. Sigh. My group is utterly useless. I see other groups finishing their project reports. Mine? Still stagnant. Sigh. They better not make my mark go down. Heads will roll.

Christmas is just around the corner. Exactly one more month and it'll be Christmas again. Man, time really seems to fly! Last year, around this time, I was running around getting ready to go to London to study.

Sigh. I don't know why, but I'm feeling awfully nostalgic. I suppose we all do whenever these big holidays come round.

I just realised, this will be my first Christmas without my family.

But hey! In a flash, New Year resolutions will have been thought up of and then broken the very next day, then it'll be Valentine's Day, all hearts and pink confetti around, in February, and then very soon Easter bunnies will come a-hopping. And then I'll be home again for a good 3 months!

Unfortunately, I might need to do a summer internship, but I hope I still will have the time and energy to hang out with everyone back home. I miss just sitting in Starbucks, talking about every nonsensical thing my friends and I could possibly think of.

There's this weird feeling in me. I tell myself that I'm interested in this guy, but somehow whenever I daydream about me and my "boyfriend" (*insert name"), this other guy's face pops up in my mind. Someone I thought I was just friends with. Sigh. What does this bloody mean?! Just thinking about this makes my head hurt. Why does this have to be so hard? Why's it seem so easy for some girls? They find a guy, they fall in love, they have a relationship, and they're happy. Well, on the outside at least. U never know how some couples cover up the unhappiness with the smiles and kisses and cuddles.

I think I have a problem with emotions. It's hard for me to show how I truely feel. Like, for example, if a guy were to kiss me, in my head, I would just close my eyes and enjoy the moment. But I can bet u if (and that's a big IF) it happens in real life, I would 1) pull away in surprise/shock or 2) mess it all up. I don't know why, but these things just happen to me. And I can tell u what happens next. If I pull away, the guy will get the notion that I'm not interested and probably (most likely) move on and hook up with some hot chick, leaving me to wallow in self-pity and self-loathing in the corner. 99.99% that's what's gonna happen. And no, the guy probably wouldn't even stop to consider that maybe showing my feelings is difficult for me.

Sigh. I realise I've written an entire paragraph based on pure and utter crap. More for u guys to read then.

My computer's back! Yay!

At long last! I can enjoy the seemingly never-ending deluge of videos available on the wonderful blessed thing that we call youtube!

Man, I'm totally psyched that my computer's back! Granted, it's running kinda wonky and slow, but hey, can't complain too much! At least I have my own personal computer now.

FINALLY, my economics coursework is done, completed, finito! Yes! Spent such a long time tweaking my essays so they sound better and the presentation of my report looks much more like I spent weeks on it, when I've only spent 3 days of last minute work on it.

Argh! Bloody goddamn pimple on my nose! So annoying! Aren't u supposed to have perfect skin in winter? I mean, there's no heat and sweat that allows bacteria to grow! What the hell! I HATE HAVING ZITS! Bah!

After tomorrow, I'm gonna have a well-deserved break on Saturday. Then back full force on Sunday, what with all the damn case briefs I have to prepare for law tutorial on Tuesday. Come next Friday, CIB lab exam. After that, par-tay! Korean Society's holding their Christmas clubbing event. Yay! It'll be good to get out and about after being cooped in for so many weeks.

It's almost 4am now, and I still have graphs to draw. I'll be back tomorrow! Ciao!

Sigh. Still no bloody computer.

Turns out the hard disk on my laptop is physically damaged! WHAT THE FUCK! Bloody hell.

It's gonna cost me a hefty £50. Oh my god. Sigh.

I've finally finished my Economics coursework. Yay.

Maybe, just maybe, my dream of my beautiful silver MacBook Pro might just be back! And it just might even come true! Fingers crossed yeah!

Looks like the dream of a brand new laptop has been pricked with needles by none other than my loving parents. They point blank refused to let me buy a new one. So the repairman's coming tomorrow to fix this near-dead Compaq of mine.

Oh wells. At least I'll have a computer, albeit a lousy, crappy, slow, monstrous one.

There was a fire alarm this morning at the ungodly hour of 4am. FUCKING ASSHOLES who smashed another glass point. It was bloody freezing, and it did not help that it was drizzling.

Well, hopefully I'll be able to use my computer tomorrow. Much as I hate that it's big, heavy and performs like a snail, I do love the fact that my speakers are really quite good and that it's a nice silver colour. Plus, I really can't survive without a computer. Last night, being computer-less, I fell asleep at fucking 10pm! Even with my iPod, it's just not the same.

There u go, my beautiful dream of owning a MacBook. But perhaps! Since I'm definitely getting a new one when I go home next year. I'll push for it.

Party tonight. Go or not? Damn it. Hate having to make sacrifices like these. But coursework due this Friday equals to sitting at home like a good little girl and finishing up yucky Economics essays.

Damn. Means I don't get to see u.

Fucking computer's down!

I have to use the school's sucky desktop computers now. Ugh.

Last night, the bloody thing just hanged and went on to show what my friends called "The Blue Screen of Death".

Bah.

So damn unlucky! All my music and photos and stuff is lost! But on the other hand, that means that I might just be able to get a spanking new laptop. I'm thinking... Apple iMac!

Hah. Like my dad will allow. Who knows? Fingers crossed huh?

Anyway, I'll update more another time. I'm in absolutely no mood to complain about my horrible day. Got loads more work to do. Yuck.

Sometimes I wish that I was one of those popular girls, who have a ton of girlfriends who come look for them, who always makes time for said girls more than for themselves. Sigh. I feel like I have very few girlfriends, which is very sad. The number of close girlfriends I have who I feel that I can trust enough to confide in, I can count on one hand.

Anyways. Enough of my emo crap. This song is beautiful. I heard it when I was watching The Girl Next Door, starring Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch. It's got great lyrics, especially the first stanza, which holds extra meaning for me. And the piano is by far one of the best instruments to use for romantic love ballads. Anyway, lyrics to This Year's Love by David Gray.

I'm drawing out the floor plans of my CIB project. Thank the lord I'm not an architect. Blah.

I kind of like going to class alone. It holds a certain appeal to me. I mean, what's not to like? U don't get people whispering in ur ear. U don't get interrupted when u're trying to do ur work or listen to what the professor's saying. Eeek, I am such a geek.

But then it can get a little lonely sometimes, especially if the lecture is deadly boring.

Well, QM lecture was cancelled today, so my morning was free, but totally wasted in Eline's roon trying to decide to go somewhere during the Christmas holidays. The Amsterdam trip? CANCELLED! ARGH! The flight fare suddenly became too expensive, so we had to forgo that. Tickets to Madrid were pretty cheap, but we didn't wanna go during winter. Apparently there's some sale that Spain holds annually in February, so I was thinking I might go up there in Easter, maybe with my parents when they come up to the UK. So I guess it's London for me in Christmas.

It's 2 hours later and I'm still drawing the damn floor plans. Ugh.

Should I go tomorrow? Should I? Hmm.

Ok, that's all for today. Gotta get back to my floor plans. Ciao!

Busy weekend.

Yesterday was the MSS Nottingham Games. I volunteered to help out at the Food Fair at Portland Building. I had to get up at the ungodly hour of 6.45am! And when I got there, I found the bloody place empty! Guess what?! Everyone else was running late! What the fuck! Grr!

Things were pretty slow till about 10am, when chaos just erupted. We had to take orders from the volunteers and players at the sports centre and deal with price changes or discounted prices from the stalls. Even though there were only 6 stalls, it was hell trying to organise everything properly. Singaporeans are really not very nice people either. (Not all. Some.) Out of all the people working with me, only about 3 of them were nice. (2 Singaporeans, 1 Mexican.)

My shift ended around 2.30pm, so I got lunch for Woody, who was playing badminton, and walked over to the sports centre. Turns out boots aren't that comfortable to walk long distances in. Look nice, hurts like a bitch.

Watched Woody and Jon (!) play a doubles match against these 2 other very aggressive guys from some other university. They won the semi-finals and then Woody ran off to play squash. He won that match, but only came in 3rd place overall. After that, he went back to play the badminton finals with Jon. Lost that one. I don't understand the scoring system of badminton. I only play, albeit lousily. Hehe.

After the prize-giving ceremony, we walked back to Portland Building for the thank-you dinner for volunteers and players. But when we got there (after being caught in the freakin' rain), we found a long line of people who weren't from Nottingham University. They all thought that the dinner was for them too! Dinner turned out to be a disasterous disappointment. But pizza came to the rescue shortly afterwards, so it wasn't so bad.

We took a cab back to Newark afterwards. I was so tired I promptly fell asleep after washing up. Totally knocked out! I only got up around noon today, which was spent doing absolutely nothing, except my laundry, which was 3 weeks overdue. I'm such a lazy pig. Sigh.

Back to my Law case briefs. 6 more to go. Argh!

Looks like I'm going to Amsterdam this December after all! Woo-hoo! (Guan, u're going to kill me, right? Hahaha!)

Remember my post about my addiction to music?

I think I know why. U guys will probably think I've gone completely insane. I think that whatever song I'm listening to on my iPod is like my soundtrack. U know, like in movies or on television. (Ok, I can so hear u guys rolling ur eyes.)

But I'm not kidding. Of course, the music has to suit my mood of the day. Like today, I had to go down to the city centre to do a checkup for my contact lenses thing. As usual, as I strolled down the path, I had my music on, my pace matching the beat of the song.

By the way, today's soundtrack was Angela Ammons' Always Getting Over You. (Thanks for sending it, Ed!)

I can't explain it clearly, so u guys probably think I'm crazy. But that's just another secret of mine. So now u know. When I have my earphones in, I'm probably in some fantasy world, pretending I'm in my very own movie or something.

Who knows? Maybe we are stars in our own movie, where we live our lives like normal people, without the knowledge that it's all controlled. Like The Truman Show.

Right.

Work's piling up. As usual, the problem here is procrastination.

And the solution? There is no solution.

Not unless u have some kind of magic abracadabra crap that'll make my laptop vanish and force my mind to concentrate on whatever work I'm looking at.

Argh.

Here's a list of assignments due in the near future:

1. CIB Lab exercises

2. CIB project (Due 4th-7th Dec '06)

3. CIB Lab exam (30th Nov '06)

4. Business Law assignments (Week 6 & 7) and readings

5. Economics coursework (Due Friday 24th Nov '06, 2pm)

6. Financial Accounting assignments (Week 3-6)

7. Entrepreneurship and Business project

Bah. I have no life.

To add to that, I'm facing some shit now. Oh, what do I mean? I'm in DEEP SHIT. Bloody hell. I've been so used to the rich kids in my old college paying for me whenever we go out. Damn it. Need to spend less. Thing is, my appetite seems to have quadrupled over here, especially in winter. My stomach seems to be expanding. Die.

SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.

I think I have a serious music addiction.

Wherever I go, I need music. In my room, I need sound, otherwise I grow paranoid and go completely nuts. (There. One more secret about me.) Even outside, when I'm walking, I need my earphones firmly stuck in my ears, iPod blasting the latest tunes (or actually whichever songs Ed's sent me recently. Haha.).

Sigh.

Something's wrong with me. These days, I've been so lazy. I barely glance at my notes before feeling tired and cranky. I sleep terrible hours, no thanks to the horrible hacking cough I've developed, althought it certainly is a change from the choking one I had the past week.

God, I'm in such a rut now. I better get back on top of things. Pronto.

Saturday was spent on main campus. I was volunteering for the Nottingham Malaysian Games, at the badminton hall. Well, at least for about 3 hours, and then Eline and I split for home.

Somehow my heart feels lighter without that usual pining after some guy. Hmm. I kinda like it this way. Feels great to just watch cute guys passing by with no strings attached. :)

I think I'm coming down with something.

My throat hurts like hell, my head throbs each time I cough (which is very frequently), and I feel very very warm.

UGH.

Need I mention I hate feeling sick?

Well, as u have probably already guessed, I'm back from London!

Lots of photos from Newark formal and the after-party at Skin last Thursday, SingNite last Saturday and MSS Halloween Party at Sugar Bar yesterday.

First, photos before the dinner.