Hi all! Back from a brief stint. Sorry for not updating.

Anyways, I'm here cos I can't bloody sleep! My body clock is all messed up! Argh! So I'm gonna take this time to post up the long overdue photos! YAY! (Or not. Whatever.)

First up, Korean Society's Christmas Party at Faces.

Here I am, all alone in my room, sitting comfortably in my fake Calvin Klein sweats and my MSS Nottingham Games hoodie, eating a terrible, digusting packed dinner or pasta sprinkled with orange cheese.

How wonderful huh?

Well, at least I feel so comfy and warm now, curled up in my chair, watching re-runs of Friends.

Been so busy the whole day. First I had QM tutorial at 10am, followed by my CIB presentation at 11am. It went pretty dreadfully. Sigh. I think we kinda lost the focus along the way. Then we had lunch at the Atrium at 12.20pm and rushed off to prepare for our Entrepreneurship and Business poster presentation in the Senate Chamber of Trent Builiding at 2pm. This one went great! Ooh I just love having those kind of presentations where u have to pitch an idea to someone and just basically give him information and statistics. So fun!

Note to self: Heels look great, but are a bitch to walk around in, especially when it's cold and wet.

My feet hurt so bad now. Damn heels.

Right after the poster presentation, I had to practically run in my heels to the bus stop to catch the hopper bus back to Jubilee Campus for my Financial Accounting lecture at 3pm. Unfortunately, the bus moved so slowly and waited here and there for passengers that it was much too late for me to attend the lecture. But I had a make-up Law tutorial at the Exchange Building at 4pm, so I waited around for that. My day officially ended only around 5.30pm.

Sigh. I'm pooped. But tonight, The Notebook! Yes, the sappy love story written by Nicholas Sparks that was made into one of those tearjerkers, starring Rachel McAdams! I've been dying to see that movie. Sophy's got it, so we're gonna watch it tonight.

Have to start my revision starting the week after next. Exams start on 15th January 2007. Bah.

MSS pubbing event at Opium next Thursday. Dilemma here! Newark's Christmas formal's on the same evening. But formal's are always here, and I've never been to Opium, so Opium it is!

I've got pictures to upload. First will be the Korean Society's Christmas party at Faces, followed by Sophy's birthday celebration on last Tuesday and today's presentation day, with all of us in smart attire. Will upload later. But for now, back to my yucky dinner and Friends!

That's how I feel.

As some of u may know, I'm going through a rough patch now. Feeling really down and lousy about everything. I mean, first, I get blown off by a guy I thought liked me for some biatch, and I had to endure them dirty dancing the entire night. Totally sickening.

Then I'm piled on with more fucking work from my asshole project group mates, who, by the way, are absolutely rude. I mean, I'm more than happy to do more than my fair share. I really don't mind helping. But don't say that my work is plain and has no designs. There's only so much u can do with a fucking dying computer. AND BLOODY HELL SAY THANK YOU!

GOD! Singaporeans here are damn... ARGH!!! I mean, can't u even say a simple "Thanks!"? It's not that I want all the bloody credit, but at least freakin' acknowledge my effort! Fucking hell just snatch my work from me and then criticise like hell. Fuckwit.

To make things all worse, it's that bloody time of month! I think I'm suffering from PMS or some other form of depression. Bloody annoying. This is one of the times that I curse God for making me a female. Plus I've missed last month, so the cramps come in full-force this time. (I know, too much information. But fuck it. I'm pissed off. Writing let's me release some steam. Deal with it.)

But no, that's not all! The cherry right at the top is that my mother fucking bought my brother a brand new Apple Macbook!!!

That's right! How completely biased is that?! So fucking unfair!!!

I don't blame my brother entirely. It's not exactly his fault for wanting a Macbook. I mean, who doesn't want it? It's sleek, it's stylish, it's what every teenager wants.

But the thing that makes it really sting is that my mom bought this Macbook for my brother, EVEN THOUGH HE ALREADY HAS A PERFECTLY FUNCTIONING COMPUTER THAT SHE BOUGHT FOR HIM JUST HALF A YEAR BACK!!!

It's not the fact that it's a Macbook. It's not the fact that my brother managed to weasel it out of her.

It's the fact that here I am with a bloody lousy dying computer (that was fucking passed down from my brother) that has already died and had to be revived after the blue screen of death appeared and my brother FUCKING GETS A BRAND NEW COMPUTER, A MACBOOK NO LESS!!!!!

My mom is goddamn biased.

And guess what? I can't even complain about the total unfairness of this situation. Because I know exactly how the argument will end.

Me: How could u buy a brand new Macbook for Kelvin when he has a bloody good one already that u just bought for him 6 months ago?!

My mother: Don't u dare complain, ok! I spend so much on ur studies and ur air tickets for flying back and forth and u still dare to talk back?!

That's not the bloody point.

It's so damn unfair. My brother gets away with things like this always. It's not his fault, because the ultimate decision is my mom's.

But see, he's doing a course he loves, Media and Management or whatever. His diploma will let him be able to go into broadcasting, journalism, management, advertising and so on. Basically he's got a very wide choice.

But me? I'm doing a course I don't even like that much. Finance, Accounting and Management. I can't stand accounting, so I'm not even considering becoming an accountant or auditor in the future. I just can't see myself sitting chained to a desk, working 9 to 5 every goddamn day doing a routine job of crunching figures. I know myself. I get bored easily. I need a job that is exciting and fun. So I wanna do something along the creative line, like advertising or marketing. But with my degree, I'm pretty much stuck. Look at my brother. He can go both ways, whichever he so chooses to do. But me, I'm doing something I'm not even very happy doing just to make someone happy.

My ultimate sacrifice. My own happiness.

My dad says my degree will bring me to good places. I'll be able to find a good job and earn lots of money. But what's the point if I have to work ungodly hours daily? What's the point of having to work 18 hours a day, everyday, and not have the time to spend the gazillion bucks I make?

And there's no absolute guarantee that I'll even be able to find a well-paying job with my degree either. Everything's so uncertain. Here I am in my first year, and I already find myself struggling. And first year's not even counted! I've never done Business Law ever before in my life, and I can't for the life of me understand how that's gonna help me anyway if I wanna go into something like advertising or marketing.

Sigh. This sucks.

I feel so alone here. I have no one close to confide in. Everyone here is so bitchy that I have to be careful what I tell people, cos I never know when they're gonna take that and talk about me behind my back. At least back home I know that I can just reach for the phone and have at least 3 people who I can talk to and release all this.

But for now, all I can do is cry alone in my room.

The worse thing is that I can't cry. So it just sort of builds up inside. And I have completely no interest as to what my friends talk about, so I'm kinda out of the loop. I just sorta go on auto-pilot mode, and go through a routine; lecture, tutorial, eat, lecture again, project work, eat.

This could all just be the hormones talking. For all I know, tomorrow I could be jumping off the walls with glee. Incredibly doubtful that will happen, but I could.

Today was spent doing my Entrepreneurship and Business project.

We have to come up with a creative concept that we're supposed to market and advertise. So William agreed, after alot of bullying (Haha!), to be our model for our poster ad.

So. Here are some production clips. Unfortunately there's no sound, because I only just realised that my brother's crappy old camera that he so generously gifted to me doesn't record sound. Wonderful, huh?





Anyways, it was pretty late by the time we finished and it had gotten dark, which made it really difficult to see in the "forest" we were in, resulting in me and Eline walking into a clump of really thorny plants, and we got stung really bad. My ankles have now got 2 throbbing red spots. They sting like hell. I have a sneaking suspicion that those plants were nettles. Bloody nature.

Well, now I've been assigned the task of not only designing the website (my original task), but also the brochure for the CIB project! AND I have to do bloody market research for our concept in the Entrepreneurship & Business project. All this was done by one of my group members, but it was done in such an atrocious manner that we have to do it all over again. Waste of bloody time. I don't understand why people wanna do shoddy work. Isn't it easier to get the job done well the first time, instead of having to come back and rectify it again? Bloody hell don't do if u're not gonna be serious about it and drag everyone else's grade down.

Not only that, I'm have to think up a slogan for our marketing pitch. I tell u, this is where I excel. Not bragging, but seriously, my team mates are absolutely horrendous at this part, only I'm too nice a person to say anything, which ends up in us having to either go along with their lousy one or having to compromise. Usually it's the latter, cos I wanna avoid confrontation or conflict in the group. But I do love advertising, u know, the slogans, the brainstorming for ideas on how to attract our target audience to our product. Hmm, maybe I'll go into advertising in the future. That's an idea.

Chinese Society Christmas party at Geisha on Monday and joint-uni event at Isis on Tuesday. Which one should I go to? Or should I just blow off both? Tough choice.

Ok, back to work now. Oh no. My stomach's growling. Bad, bad, bad.