I'm so tired. What a crazy, hectic week it's been.

Finally I can put the Economics coursework behind me. 2 more projects and CIB lab exam before the Christmas holidays start. Can't wait!

Sometimes group work can really be quite a pain in the ass, especially when u have to tolerate people who annoy the hell out of u. Sigh. My group is utterly useless. I see other groups finishing their project reports. Mine? Still stagnant. Sigh. They better not make my mark go down. Heads will roll.

Christmas is just around the corner. Exactly one more month and it'll be Christmas again. Man, time really seems to fly! Last year, around this time, I was running around getting ready to go to London to study.

Sigh. I don't know why, but I'm feeling awfully nostalgic. I suppose we all do whenever these big holidays come round.

I just realised, this will be my first Christmas without my family.

But hey! In a flash, New Year resolutions will have been thought up of and then broken the very next day, then it'll be Valentine's Day, all hearts and pink confetti around, in February, and then very soon Easter bunnies will come a-hopping. And then I'll be home again for a good 3 months!

Unfortunately, I might need to do a summer internship, but I hope I still will have the time and energy to hang out with everyone back home. I miss just sitting in Starbucks, talking about every nonsensical thing my friends and I could possibly think of.

There's this weird feeling in me. I tell myself that I'm interested in this guy, but somehow whenever I daydream about me and my "boyfriend" (*insert name"), this other guy's face pops up in my mind. Someone I thought I was just friends with. Sigh. What does this bloody mean?! Just thinking about this makes my head hurt. Why does this have to be so hard? Why's it seem so easy for some girls? They find a guy, they fall in love, they have a relationship, and they're happy. Well, on the outside at least. U never know how some couples cover up the unhappiness with the smiles and kisses and cuddles.

I think I have a problem with emotions. It's hard for me to show how I truely feel. Like, for example, if a guy were to kiss me, in my head, I would just close my eyes and enjoy the moment. But I can bet u if (and that's a big IF) it happens in real life, I would 1) pull away in surprise/shock or 2) mess it all up. I don't know why, but these things just happen to me. And I can tell u what happens next. If I pull away, the guy will get the notion that I'm not interested and probably (most likely) move on and hook up with some hot chick, leaving me to wallow in self-pity and self-loathing in the corner. 99.99% that's what's gonna happen. And no, the guy probably wouldn't even stop to consider that maybe showing my feelings is difficult for me.

Sigh. I realise I've written an entire paragraph based on pure and utter crap. More for u guys to read then.